Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Heart Song

Have you seen the movie "Happy Feet"? The one where the penguins sing songs to each other, and how they each have a "heart song"? I must admit that it wasn't my favorite. But as I have listened to it, the truth of what they are saying/singing makes a whole lot of sense. And Mumble, the penguin who is told that he doesn't have a heart song because he dances instead of sings? Oh I SO understand him.... (no. Not because I can dance, but because I have a child who dances and sings to a different tune than most of the world.)

And lately, I have really been trying to listen to my family. To really hear what my boys and my husband have been attempting to say to me. 

Their heart songs are sometimes hard to hear, shrill, or completely out of sync with my own. 

So how, then, do I really hear?.
Sometimes, it's with quiet words....

For my oldest, my dear, tender-hearted Joe, I decided to create a conversation journal. Although I could talk forever (and my dearest friends know what I mean) I am aware that it is hard for him to open up as easily. This way, we can talk at his own pace.... open-hearted and real. God is indeed sending me little messages that have PATIENCE screaming written into the subject line.

And the start of his first letter was just so adorable. He apologized for being "late" and then proceeded to tell me how much he loves all of us (even though Max can be a bother at times...). 

His heart is truly beautiful, and I only wish that the world was able to see it like I do. But I guess that that is what mothers are for? To know, and love, and understand like no other? To be able to see the absolute truth instead of just the exterior face? Oh. What a gift.....

As for my Max, well, we have been listening to Cat Chat, a Catholic audio show for kids, and I love how they include music and prayers. During the day, Max will be playing with his marbles, and I will hear him belt out the Hail Mary. Or the Magnificat. Truly wonderful stuff, there. 

Just this morning, he said, "Mommy, Joe at school?" When I reminded him that he was, he said, "I wuv Joe. He my good brother." 

Then he took my hand and led me into the front parlor. 

He said, "Sit down mommy. I play like Joe." 

And he proceeded to "play". Just like big brother Joe. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star never sounded so perfect. It shot a love song straight to my heart.

As I move through this achingly beautiful-hard time of motherhood, I pray that I can continue to listen, learn, and sing with my children as they grow. Despite the pain, the frustration, the hurt that goes along with the beauty.

For I don't want to miss a heart song that is just for me...

Gratefully sharing here today:

No Ordinary Blog Hop

Friday, February 1, 2013

Five Minute Friday ~ Afraid

(i am) AFRAID

Darkness falls....

and my calling, my desired-for vocation of motherhood has lately pitched me into the deepest darkest rolling waves of fear. How is it that I can at times be so unsteady and unsure and so incredibly fearful when I clearly cling to the lighthouse of my faith? The rock of my salvation?

As I scream prayers into the windswept wilds of my heart, or quietly whisper deep longings of hope above my sleeping children, it is still amazing to me the power that fear can instill. (you aren't doing enough. you are not enough. you are not helping them. you are enabling.) 

But oh. DEAR GOD. Please, please continue to steer me to the safer shores of trust and compassion and hope. Helping to see YOU in the shaping and shifting souls of my children. For I want to be there and ready and compassionate and yes,  fearless as....

The dawn comes...

Sharing gratefully today with Lisa-Jo and other wonderful writers for her 5-minute Friday...as she says:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in {you can grab the button code in my blog footer}
3. Go leave some comment props for the five minute artist who linked up before you {and if you love us, consider turning off word verification for the day to make it easier for folks to say howdy}

Five Minute Friday

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