Thursday, August 18, 2011

Just thinking....and listening...

     When I wrote my belated post on Monday, I really believed that I would be back to writing daily...and I do have plenty of hopes, dreams, ideas to write about. So what is wrong with me? Well, aside from the fact that I have a very busy toddler, (read, into everything, walking, and cute as a button), I am also planning for Joe's schooling, keeping up a house that seems to breed dust and paper piles, and wanting so desperately to catch up with friends and family. The summer lazy bug has bitten, and so my blog just gets put away for awhile. (Not to mention the knitting sitting in the basket or the wonderful ideas for a baby quilt, or the NINE YEARS of pictures of Joe's life that need to be put into scrapbooks........oh dear....)

     How often do we do that, we women? Giving of ourselves until we can barely breathe or even remember what it is that we were doing? I am, indeed, Martha. You know. The sister who was in the kitchen while her sister Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to Him. I want to have that beautifully run household, create delicious healthy food for my family (and those who choose to visit this crazy household), but am I listening? To God? To Max who just wants me to play? To Joe who wants to read with me? To Tom who just wants to be with me? How many times lately have I actually said, "Mommy will be with you in a moment. I'm cleaning." I shudder to think that it has been more than once. Don't get me wrong, I do not believe that you should always be at the beck and call of your little ones. No. But. That being said, there are times when I certainly could have just stopped what I was doing. Times when I could have been listening instead of doing. After all, Jesus was telling Martha to not worry about the small things, but to concentrate on what was REALLY important. A lesson that for some reason is taking me longer to learn than I ever anticipated.

     I have several lovely blogs over on my sidebar, but I need to tell you that lately I have truly been thirsty for what my friend Misty has to say. In one of her latest posts she speaks of blogger's block, and really, as the tears came down, I was simply whispering "yes. i know.". 

    I, too, am unsure if I have anything to say that is what others want to hear, and I clam up... (And who cares how many people read it? Well. Sure. We all want to be heard at times....)  I don't really know what the future of this blog will be. It may simply fade off like so many other ventures that I have started. Or it may also be a way for me to stay connected to other Martha's who want to be Mary's. There is strength in others, and I am one who needs others.

     So as I get ready to plunge into the depths of the Fall, experiencing "school" like never before, I am going to be aware of LISTENING. My home may just have to be a tiny bit neglected because the people in it need to be nurtured and fed and listened to.

     We need more times like this:




     And really, who cares if my family room looks like this?


And if someone does care, they don't really understand the love and life happening here...

What matters are these precious faces:





     So I am giving thanks today for all of the ways that God helps me to slow down, listen, and remember why I am here in the first place.....

Monday, August 15, 2011

Summer Multitudes ~ #402-435

     Please excuse the randomness and stream-of-conscience writing...there is so much that is rambling through this lazy brain of mine that I just don't know where to begin.  :)   I have been away for awhile... 

     For the past two weeks, I have been so incredibly lucky that Tom has been home on vacation. Relaxing time, play time, let's-just-take-time-to-be-together time. I love that he has such a relaxed schedule in the summer (mainly because it helps me to be comfortable with the fact that we can be summer-lazy together.)  I have also been deep in prayer about friendships...

     We started the vacation at the beach with my sister (my first friend)and her adorable family. Heaven. (And as far as I am concerned, it was way too short a time.) Next up, Tom's 20th High School reunion. Time spent meeting friends again, remembering good times, and hearing stories about the intersections of lives. Then, we took some time to travel and visit some dear friends....I love, love, love reconnecting with people who mean so much. Hopefully, I will round out this week by getting to see a dear friend from childhood who moved away.  Carol has such a tender piece of my heart to this day....

     I mentioned to Tom that I am so utterly frustrated with the way that life is today. The overwhelming busy-ness and distance makes it so hard to really keep connections going.  

     I need to confess something. I feel a little guilty with how I (unknowingly) made Tom feel. In the midst of traveling (to help settle some of this gypsy soul of mine) I didn't realize that I kept saying "I could live here", "Wouldn't this be a great place for you to get a job?". Unfortunately, he interpreted this as unhappiness. When really, I just miss my people. I am unsettled with having to drive 1, 2, or 3 hours to really reconnect and visit. Truly, I was simply trying to tell my friends how much I miss them, not that I was unhappy with where I am or how my life is. Luckily, the misunderstanding was cleared up, but I did learn that I have to be careful (still? really?) about how I say things. He is where I want to be. Wherever that is. Always.

     So...counting today...

kids covered in sand
bright beach towels
beach reading
conversations with Rae
kites on the beach
helping Joe ride the waves
Max walking with arms raised
Max's third word ~ Joe
road-trippin'
Nags Head, NC
reconnecting with Mari Tere
Mass with the Youth Apostles
Ana Marie and Family
Helen and Family
Fr. Jack and Fr. Peter
reconnecting with Beth
Joe and Ellie playing
Lebanese taverna (and Beth to myself)
Joe and daddy day
reconnecting with Paige and family
hearing Paige sing
listening to Molly sing "Cats"
talking with Anna about horses
seeing Beth twice in one week
comfortable silences
watching Tom be silly
reconnecting with Chris and Shelly
time alone with Tom
seeing Joe make a gesture that is his dad's
friendships through time
Max laughing
murals from nothing
painting and laughing with Rachel
Joe's gratefulness for Lego's
coming home to our little world

Sweet girl


Joe and his kite
Gratefully sharing at Ann's today:



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