The gifts that I already have...
And so this week, on a beautiful Palm Sunday morning, as I sat in the hospital Emergency room, knowing that I was in the process of losing my child, I had to grab my journal...
... and write through the tears....
This list is what I was able to come up with despite my weeping heart...and despite a deep sense of loss...
23 ~ Catholic hospitals that administer the Eucharist (As I was admitted, it was the first thing that I asked for. I hungered for healing. Soul healing.)
24 ~ the meditative rhythm of the Rosary, even without holding one
25 ~ the ability to laugh through tears
26 ~ the caring words of Angie, who I know would drop anything to help me
27 ~ in-laws who take special care of my boys
28 ~ healing tears
29 ~ "Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed"
30 ~ the touch and tears of a caring Eucharistic minister
31 ~ Story people again....quiet spaces....a true testament to the beauty of a connected marriage....
32 ~ "Industrial" sub at Coppola's deli .... comfort food
33 ~ chocolate chai ice cream at Bev's homemade ice cream (plus bites of Tom's malted peanut butter) :)
34 ~ browsing shelves at Chop Suey bookstore
35 ~ finding a Hardy Boys mystery for Joe
36 ~ finding a Moosewood Restaurant cookbook for me
37 ~ holding hands and walking silently with Tom (see #31)
38 ~ Fair trade co-op Ethiopian coffee from Ten Thousand Villages
39 ~ coming home to Joe and Max and the loving embraces of both
40 ~ that despite cold medical terms of tissue, fetus, sac..... Tom and I KNOW that OUR BABY, OUR CHILD, has become a member of the Communion of Saints
41 ~ the knowledge that we have a special guardian angel
42 ~ spending time with my parents, and the comfort of their words and hugs and prayers
43 ~ a bucket of KFC and sides... comfort food yet again
44 ~ sweet words and hugs of my sister-in-law Julie... and her ability to make me laugh through tears
45 ~ being curled up in the hammock and just....breathing and swaying....
46 ~ a long talk and reminiscing with Christine...
47 ~ a faith that embraces a culture of life ~ and being able to see Joe grow into the understanding that ALL LIFE IS PRECIOUS
48 ~ seeing women, beautifully pregnant, and being able to whisper a silent prayer for the continued blessing of their pregnancy...
Come join us in the gratitude community... here....