Monday, April 18, 2011

Despite miscarriage ~ Multitudes on Monday...Counting Gifts

  Last week, I purposefully began to count the gifts of my life.
              The gifts that I already have...

   And so this week, on a beautiful Palm Sunday morning, as I sat in the hospital Emergency room, knowing that I was in the process of losing my child, I had to grab my journal...

... and write through the tears....

    This list is what I was able to come up with despite my weeping heart...and despite a deep sense of loss...

23 ~ Catholic hospitals that administer the Eucharist (As I was admitted, it was the first thing that I asked for. I hungered for healing. Soul healing.)

24 ~ the meditative rhythm of the Rosary, even without holding one

25 ~ the ability to laugh through tears

26 ~ the caring words of Angie, who I know would drop anything to help me

27 ~ in-laws who take special care of my boys

28 ~ healing tears

29 ~ "Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed"

30 ~ the touch and tears of a caring Eucharistic minister

31 ~ Story people again....quiet spaces....a true testament to the beauty of a connected marriage....

32 ~ "Industrial" sub at Coppola's deli .... comfort food

33 ~ chocolate chai ice cream at Bev's homemade ice cream (plus bites of Tom's malted peanut butter)  :)

34 ~ browsing shelves at Chop Suey bookstore

35 ~ finding a Hardy Boys mystery for Joe

36 ~ finding a Moosewood Restaurant cookbook for me

37 ~ holding hands and walking silently with Tom (see #31)

38 ~ Fair trade co-op Ethiopian coffee from Ten Thousand Villages

39 ~ coming home to Joe and Max and the loving embraces of both

40 ~ that despite cold medical terms of tissue, fetus, sac..... Tom and I KNOW that OUR BABY, OUR CHILD, has become a member of the Communion of Saints

41 ~ the knowledge that we have a special guardian angel

42 ~ spending time with my parents, and the comfort of their words and hugs and prayers

43 ~ a bucket of KFC and sides... comfort food yet again

44 ~ sweet words and hugs of my sister-in-law Julie... and her ability to make me laugh through tears

45 ~ being curled up in the hammock and just....breathing and swaying....

46 ~ a long talk and reminiscing with Christine...

47 ~ a faith that embraces a culture of life ~ and being able to see Joe grow into the understanding that ALL LIFE IS PRECIOUS

48 ~ seeing women, beautifully pregnant, and being able to whisper a silent prayer for the continued blessing of their pregnancy...

Come join us in the gratitude community... here....

holy experience


  1. ♥ My heart goes out to you! But there is healing in Christ. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. xo

  2. I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family.

  3. Oh, Mary Jo, I am so sorry for your loss. But I thank God that you know him and trust him for I cannot imagine what loss looks like away from our loving, tender, Father.

    My prayers are with you and your family...

  4. Bless your heart and soul. I am so sorry. Heaven has gained yet another sweet angel. May he/she watch over you and guard you as you find comfort and peace. xoxo

  5. My heart is breaking for you and now I, too, am writing through tears welling up. Your beautiful profession of faith is found in this list. I will continue praying for your healing.

  6. Oh my sweet girl:( I am so sad for you and Tom, but in some strange way glad to now that our little one has a friend to wait with:) love you all!

  7. As I tear up reading your hearfelt words, I cannot begin to express in my own words how beautiful you are... how deep your faith... how complex your spirit. You are truly my soul mate, and I simply adore you. I just don't know what else to say.

  8. I'm so sorry Mary Jo. I'm so sorry.

  9. Your heart is so beautiful and pure. I am sorry for what you are going through, but I know that God will always bless you. Love you.

  10. I am so sorry for your loss. This was so honest and raw, and full of heart. God bless you in the next days and immediate weeks to come. (((HUGS))) I saw the new header with bloomed flowers and I felt them as quite appropriate for now.

  11. Came to find you after reading your comment...
    Oh Mary Jo...I'm so so sorry.
    Your thankful heart, in the midst of the tears, is so honoring to Him.
    We'll forever share a deep longing for Heaven, you and I.
    ...for that day when aching arms are filled and He wipes away every tear.
    Praying right now...that you'll be able to pour out your heart to Him (Psalm 62:5-8)and will truly sense His deep love for you.

  12. I am so sorry, dear. You are an amazing woman with an amazing faith.


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