As I ponder Elizabeth's post about courage, I need to be honest with you and tell you of the fear gripping my heart, body, and soul at the moment. Currently 6 1/2 weeks pregnant, I am completely overjoyed, but so completely nervous. I am worried because I am having symptoms that I have never had before....and this leads to worrying about losing this baby, like I have done once before. In 16 years of being "open to life", we have two beautiful children, and one waiting with God.... And so I worry.... Believe me, I am certainly not proud of it, and know that nothing comes from worrying (except loss of time with the ones that I call most dear).
One of our favorite priests, at the Our Father, says, "...protect us from all NEEDLESS WORRY AND ANXIETY...". It has always struck a chord with me, because I believe that sometimes, it feels as though I run on fear. I often come to Tom and say, "OK. I need your help. Help me to settle, come pray with me....". (I don't think that he had any idea of the often-times complete and utter mess that he was marrying, but he has come through like a champion. My champion.) I KNOW that I need to let go.... And oh, does that take courage!
So I have been taking it to prayer, like I do most things. Misty has a beautiful Litany of Humility that has helped me to center. To somehow give up that truly human way I have of praying for what I need, what I desire.... I spend a lot of time in prayer asking for forgiveness because I don't trust like I should....And yet...
In my heart of hearts, I know that whatever may happen, Jesus is right there crying or rejoicing right along with me...if I only have the courage to allow him to walk with me.
Come along and join us in taking those small steps here:
I will keep you and your precious new baby in my daily prayers Mary Jo. :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post straight from the heart. And your assurance that whatever happens "Jesus is right there crying or rejoicing right along with" you makes you bolder than you give yourself credit for. Prayer is powerful so we will pray...
ReplyDeleteYour thoughts are deep, meaningful, and faithfilled. It is so good to see your unfaltering faith in God and in Tom.
ReplyDelete--Dad Q
you are in my prayers as we enter holy week.
ReplyDeletepax Christi - lena
p.s. i'm here via elizabeth's blog