Thursday, April 28, 2011

Roots and Wings...and topsy turviness...

     Joe and I decided to try the Topsy-Turvy planter as a little experiment....

Will the tomato in the ground, or the one in the planter produce more fruit?
Does it matter if the plant is upside down? Does it help by being upside down?
How will the fruit stay on upside down?
     Well, lately, since I am fighting with the voles in the garden, I believe that the planter will win. (It's hard for the ones in the ground to compete since THEY ARE BEING PULLED UNDERGROUD FOR A VOLE'S TASTY DINNER.)

     Until I went outside today. This is what I saw:

      Can you see it?! It was starting to grow down...and then....made a complete u-turn. The top of the plant is now touching the top of the bottom of the planter. SIGH.

     I can't even grow a topsy-turvy tomato right?! AND I'm fighting the voles?

OK, OK, I *know* that gardening is an adventure. A test of faith. And then, I take a look at my heart....

     Somedays, I feel so firmly planted that it hurts to move. It hurts to breathe. It's not that I don't want to be rooted, to be planted, but there is within me a yearning for wings. There are times when I bemoan to Tom that we are just not where we are supposed to be. And he responds lovingly with...

"Well hon, exactly where are we supposed to be? We're together, right? Isn't that the perfect place?" GULP.

     Yes of course, being with him, with my family is indeed the perfect place. But do you want to know what I would like to do?

* I would like to be like the friends of ours who took a year, an airstream, and a dream, and travelled the country.

* I would like to be like our friends who packed it all up, moved west, and just....lived.

* I would like to be like the people that are brave enough to get a boat, chart a course....and go.

* I see a cottage on the sea for sale and wonder if we could go, live life on the beach, and run a coffee shop together .. (yes, yes, I know that Tom and I know nothing about running a business...but we do love coffee and can bake muffins. Isn't that enough?! Really, what is enough?)

     God bless my sweet husband for listening to my ramblings and understanding my need for dreams. I KNOW the reasons that we can't just pick up and go... but I can still dream.

     But dreaming can hurt sometimes.

     Life is so fleeting, so quick, that I just don't want to miss it...

     That's why I have been clinging to this quote by St. Augustine:

Thou hast created us for Thyself, and our heart is not quiet until it rests in Thee...
       Our beautiful faith does allow us roots and wings. Peter, the rock, the cornerstone, helped the church to take shape. Paul, the wanderer, was the wings, allowing people all over to listen to the word of our Lord. Right now, I suppose, I am to grow those roots while teaching my children about their faith. All while giving them wings to allow their faith to fly.
        So even when the laundry's not done, the kitchen has crumbs, and the tomatoes are strangely branching and reaching for the sun, I, at least, will try to quiet my restless heart by resting in my God. (While dreaming of the sea...)

What about you? What are you dreaming of?


  1. Tom Brunner (Your sweet Honey)April 28, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    You are sooooo cute. You don't know where you want to root, so I let you dream about MANY places to root knowing that I am secure here in good ole' Chester. The dream of moving is a lot more fun than uprooting and making the move itself... just ask Katie:-)

  2. Your mention of us brought tears to my eyes. Never thought of it the way you put it, "following a dream", but I guess we kind of did. You are such a blessing to me, even though we never talk and I never tell you that. I love your positivity and your longing for Grace. Love you!


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